Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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