you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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