I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
