i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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