Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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