He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
This baby is an asshole
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
