3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
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