The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
