i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
