Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
