I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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