I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
