What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
