They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
