u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
