how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
