so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
