those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
