I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
