I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
