Your tits are I can't wait for
North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Someone signed my nipple.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
