I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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