doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
