i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
