i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize