You're completely useless in the revolution.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
