Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
