dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
