I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
