Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
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