I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
