if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize