It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
