I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
