Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Randomize
