i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
