Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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