watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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