dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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