im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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