ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize