So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize