Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
