Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
