we have officially lost it.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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