So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
