i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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