The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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