The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
