So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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