You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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