Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
