Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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