i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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