In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
