Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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