I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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