ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
