next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
