Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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