i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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