YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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