As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
