Tell her she can't have a vagina
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
