susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This toilet bowl is my home.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
