It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
