I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
