so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
