Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
