i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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